Bucky Barnes (
onlyapassenger) wrote2011-06-29 04:36 pm
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[for Steve] who will wield the shield?
The sheer amount of ordnance Bucky has managed to acquire in the months since his arrival is, perhaps, startling. Though he'd shown up with nothing but a combat knife to his name, sometimes it paid to be the victim of the island's crueler tricks. Though he hadn't much appreciated the reminder of the time, getting saddled with all of his Winter Soldier gear has ultimately been a blessing as much as anything else; even if he has little cause to use it in his day to day life, there's a comfort Bucky finds in carrying a firearm that he'd be hard pressed to explain to someone of a different background.
It's old habit that finds him sitting on his front porch, a number of unloaded guns, ranging in size and make, spread out on a worn blanket beside him. His hands move in practiced motions as he cleans them one by one; it's mindless work, if necessary, though his thoughts drift elsewhere, sifting through memories both whole and fractured. He tries to remember the crimes he committed, the ones that apparently see him incarcerated in a Gulag in a future far worse than he ever anticipated, but he's met with nothing save a frustrating blankness -- a mental dead end.
Probably for the best. God only knows what sort of nightmare I'll find if I keep digging. I sleep poorly enough as is... Must drive Tasha crazy.
Shaking his head to clear his mind, it's only through a chanced glance upwards that Bucky realizes he's no longer alone. Steve is coming up the path, carrying in his hands a shield Bucky would recognize just about anywhere, one he stole if only to keep it away from anyone else, and wielded for much the same reason. He stands, abruptly, a cloth in one hand and an assault rifle in the other, but makes it down only so far as the first step before he freezes.
"Is that what I think it is?"
It's old habit that finds him sitting on his front porch, a number of unloaded guns, ranging in size and make, spread out on a worn blanket beside him. His hands move in practiced motions as he cleans them one by one; it's mindless work, if necessary, though his thoughts drift elsewhere, sifting through memories both whole and fractured. He tries to remember the crimes he committed, the ones that apparently see him incarcerated in a Gulag in a future far worse than he ever anticipated, but he's met with nothing save a frustrating blankness -- a mental dead end.
Probably for the best. God only knows what sort of nightmare I'll find if I keep digging. I sleep poorly enough as is... Must drive Tasha crazy.
Shaking his head to clear his mind, it's only through a chanced glance upwards that Bucky realizes he's no longer alone. Steve is coming up the path, carrying in his hands a shield Bucky would recognize just about anywhere, one he stole if only to keep it away from anyone else, and wielded for much the same reason. He stands, abruptly, a cloth in one hand and an assault rifle in the other, but makes it down only so far as the first step before he freezes.
"Is that what I think it is?"
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I'm not the only one the shield is important to, that's always been true. But it's never been true like this.
"You tell me," I say, and with the practiced ease of years, a gesture so natural it no longer requires thought, I throw the shield to Bucky.
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A surprised laugh bubbles out from his throat, his look incredulous as he stares at Steve; none of this makes any damn sense. By all rights, the shield shouldn't be here. Neither of them had it on them when they arrive, and everything Bucky's been led to learn would suggest that the island spaces out these memories from home.
"I don't--" says Bucky, then stops himself, setting down the rifle at his feet, and turning the shield over in his hands, his gaze critical. Yet closer examination reveals what he already knew deep down, that this isn't a fake or a replica; it's the real deal. His expression is no less bewildered when he turns his attention back to Steve, his confusion plain, though laced with something unreadable.
"Where the hell did you find it?"
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"Tony Stark's basement."
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"Come again?"
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"Kate Bishop gave it to him to safe guard. She told him it was mine." I walk to the foot of the steps, planting a foot on the lowest one.
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"And he's only giving this to you now?"
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Dropping down a step, Bucky holds out the shield for Steve to take, no reluctance to the gesture; he never wanted the shield for himself, after all, and his anger now isn't born of the fact that it's been kept from him all this time, despite it technically being his. Even back home, his motive was simply a matter of not wanting anyone else to have it. No one else, that is, except for Steve Rogers.
"What a frigging ass."
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My gaze drops to the shield but I look back up at Bucky, and I know the shift in my expression has probably given me away before I speak a word. I don't reach out a hand to take it back.
"Bucky-"
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"But you're going to fight me on this, aren't you?" he surmises, mouth drawn in a frown. "Steve--"
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"You told me at some point in my future, I ask you to take this on. Whenever that is, I, me as I am now, I haven't even had that much distance from it. I can't carry the shield, Bucky. Not now."
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Things have changed for Bucky since Steve last asked this of him; his identity's been leaked to the press, he's been stripped of the flag, he apparently gets sentenced to a stay in a gulag... And yet, despite all that, there's a part of him that wants to prove himself to Steve, wants to impress his old partner, to show that while he's not a good man, he still tries. What he wants is not the shield or the mantle, but rather, the opportunity they represent for him to earn this life that's been given. He holds Steve's gaze, not shying away from the situation as might be his inclination otherwise, and lets out a sigh.
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"I don't know that you'll ever need it here. I don't know that there will ever be a call we have to answer on this island that will require the use of that shield, but if there is, if that time comes... You're Captain America. You should be prepared."
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"You're always going to be the guy, Steve. I can hang onto this if you want me to, but as far as I'm concerned... This is always going to be yours."
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"Then do. Hang onto it," I tell him, holding his gaze and not reaching for or glancing at the shield in his hand.
"Do it for me, Buck."
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Pulling back the shield, Bucky holds it to his chest, not having much cause to slide it on his arm.
"Whenever you're ready..." he says, not bothering to finish the thought.
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